Mall Trip
by PsychicDash
Summary: Toon Link, Ness, and Lucas, along with every other smasher, go to the mall!


**Hrm... haven't wrote a humor fic in AWHILE! So my humor is a bit rusty! Please enjoy! Dude, if there's any mistakes or you don't understand a portion of the story, just... shh... *puts a finger to your mouth as I give you a chocolate bar* **

**And... HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY! YEAH! NO SEGREGATION BETWEEN BLACKS AND WHITES! Because blacks deserve some rights too! Thank you Martin Luther King Jr!**

**But you know what I like most about this guy? The fact that he got to have a holiday so now I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL!**

**Thank you, King. You's a real homefry. **

* * *

It was during a bright sunny morning. Around 10 a.m to be exact. And what better way to spend a morning, than to be playing video games in the Smash Mansion's arcade room?

"C'mon Ness! C'MON YOU CAN DO IT!" yelled TL, shaking Ness' shoulder.

Ness nudges him hard with his shoulder. "I can't you retard! MY BLOCKS HAVE SO MANY HOLES IN IT AND THIS GAME WON'T GIVE ME A DAMN LINE BLOCK!" He groans loudly.

"YOU NEED TO ASK THE GAME NICELY, THAT'S WHY!" TL insisted.

"Fine then! Please, tetris, give me a line block," Ness asked. He doesn't get a line block. "I KNEW IT WOULDN'T WORK!"

"LET ME TRY THEN! Seriously, it's like you have _no_ charm at all!" TL shouted. Then he approached the game machine. "Oh~ Hello there... sexy..." he said seductively at the machine. He rubbed his hand on the side of it slowly. "Maybe if you give Ness a little line block... I'll take you on a date tonight. Just me, you, and some skittles. What do ya say~?"

Ness and TL wait. Nothing.

"See? I told you it wouldn't-"

TL interrupted Ness. "A LINE BLOCK NESS! THERE IT IS!"

Ness snapped into gameplay again. "I SEE IT! OH MY GOD THANK YOU!" He takes the line block and continues with the game.

"..." Lucas stood next to them, completely silent. He didn't want to interrupt their little chat on a tetris game. When out of nowhere, an announcement was made on the intercom. It was from Master Hand.

_"Attention all brawlers," he says, with his usual strong and firm voice._

Ness pauses the tetris game, and the three of them tune into the announcement.

_"Please report to the theatre at once. I have a special announcement to make." Then he turns off the intercom without another word spoken. _

The three boys looked at each other with a 'huh?' face.

"Is there something special happening today?" asked Ness. TL and Lucas shrug.

"Today's just a regular Friday. Ah... Fridays!" TL stretched out his arms. "Anyways, I think we should just get to the theatre room now."

The other two nod, and then they all made their way out of the arcade room. They passed by other rooms, as well as other brawlers who are going to the theatre too. Once at the theatre, Ness, TL, and Lucas took a seat at the front row. When everyone else came and were seated, Master Hand made the announcements.

"Welcome, everyone!" greeted Master Hand. "Today, is a special day. Something I have for you. It's a reward for being such great brawlers! All of you perfectly follow directions- well, _most_ of you..." Master Hand (MH) looked over at Ness, TL, Lucas, then at Marth, Ike, and Link.

"GAH!" Link exclaimed as he got up from his seat. "I'M SORRY, OKAY?! I DIDN'T MEAN TO EXPLODE THE WALL OPEN! I THOUGHT THERE WAS A CHEST BEHIND IT! I mean, it _did_ sound funny when I hit my sword with it..." the hylian apologized.

This time, TL stood up next. "AND I'M SORRY FOR HELPING HIM!"

"And since we're apologizing..." Ike stood up now. "I'M SORRY FOR USING YOU AS A BUTT PILLOW, KIRBY!"

Everyone in the room turned to Kirby, who blushed red. "I-It's okay, Ike! Just shut up and don't give anymore details! Eheheh..." Kirby said, in a high voice.

"OH OH! MY TURN!" Ness stood up. "I'm sorry for throwing TL out the window last time!"

"ACTUALLY..." Zero Suit Samus stood up. "That was pretty helpful, there's no need for you to apologize. Sit down."

"WAIT WAIT WAIT..." Peach stood up also. "Was TL being thrown out the window, that big sound I heard last Tuesday?"

"You mean the sound of a body crashing against a conveniently placed boulder? Yeah." Ness grinned.

"WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!?" TL interrupted the conversation, then turned to Ness. "I WILL GET MY REVENGE, YOU HEAR?!"

"SHIT! WHERE'D I PUT MY BOX?!" Snake's voice echoed through the room as the others were talking. They stopped their conversation, and put their gaze on him.

"I'm using it to carry my stuff!" said Sonic.

"Give it back! My stealth drops by 75% without it! You don't even have anything! Why the hell would a hedgehog need a box anyways?"

"Um, to carry my _shoes_?" Sonic said in a 'no duh' tone.

"PREACH IT, SONIC!" The girl brawlers clapped. Sonic smirked.

Snake growled. "SERIOUSLY GIVE IT BACK! Don't make me get up!"

"No!"

"Oh that's it-" Snake whipped out a grenade.

"ENOUGHHHHHHHH!" Master Hand boomed. "DO YOU WANT US TO CANCEL THE TRIP OR NOT?!"

All the brawlers' attention went to him. "'Trip'?" they said simultaneously.

"Yes, a trip!" MH gained back his composure. "A trip to a place called... the 'Mall'."

'Oooh's came from the crowd.

"I LOVE THAT PLACE! THAT'S WHY ALL OF YOU SHOULD SHUT UP AND BEHAVE!" Crazy Hand (CH) scolded. "BY THE WAY, WHAT'S A 'MALL'? IS IT A TYPE OF HOT SAUCE?"

MH facepalmed. "You know what? Nothing. Everyone, just get on the Smash Bus and I'll take you all there. When we get inside, just... try not to scare anyone or _break_ anything," he told them. "THAT'S DOUBLE FOR YOU GUYS, TL, NESS, AND LUCAS!"

Stuck by that sudden yell, TL and Ness reply, "Y-YES SIR!"

Lucas seemed confused. "B-But I don't even do anything bad-"

MH interrupted Lucas. "_Sure _you don't. It's always the quiet people. _Always_."

"But I really don't-"

"Yeah Lucas! Stop back-talking Master Hand!" TL said while compressing a laugh, Ness couldn't help but do what he was doing too. "Geez, you always do bad things, huh?"

Lucas stared daggers at TL. "Fine..." He clenched his teeth. After that, everyone made their way out of the mansion, and onto the pavement. They walked across it until they reached a bus that was parked on the side of the road. The bus was long and wide, surely to fit all the brawlers in it.

"Now everyone, get in," commanded MH. All of them did as told, and got in and took their seats. Of course, the three boys sat together. From there on, conversations commenced between everyone on the bus, and nothing big happened inside, _luckily_. The bus trip there went off without a hitch. Buildings and buildings of Smash Town passed by the bus, and the brawlers eagerly looked. Soon, the bus parked at a cool looking mall, one that looked extremely popular and fashionable.

Once the bus parked, CH bounced out of the bus. "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THIS PLACE REMINDS ME OF DISNEYLAND OH MY GAWDDDDD!"

Then the others came out too, just as excited as CH. In no time, everyone was out of the vehicle. The outside amazed them so much, but as soon as they got _inside,_ they went insane.

"Everyone, welcome to... the _mall_," announced MH.

"WOAAAAAH..." they gasped at the sight. Their mouths dropped.

"Now everyone, this mall is rather _huge_. Probably bigger than our mansion. You see, a mall is a huge store filled with tinier little stores where you can buy lots of cool things! Like clothes, shoes, perfume, toys, anything is possible! Which is why we must stick together and all travel in one group. The mall knows of us and has marked us as special guests. We can have whatever we want to have. So here are the rules..." he goes on with his info.

"DUDES." TL grinned. Lucas and Ness did also.

"YEAH DUDE?" replied Ness.

"I'M LISTENING DUDE," Lucas added in.

"LET'S. GO." His face was still frozen with a grin.

"THAT IS THE GREATEST IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD," said Ness. After that, the three boys ran off in a direction.

MH saw that, and yelled, "WAIT! BOYS! WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER..." They were already too far. He looks back at the group. "Okay, minus three... we can find them later, okay guys?"

Everyone looked at Master Hand, then at the way TL, Ness, and Lucas went. Then they, too, ran off to go do their own things, leaving MH in the dust.

"Oh... this is bad... this is bad... they don't even know where or when they're supposed to meet with me at the end of the trip..." MH floated around in anxiety.

"I HAVE A PREPOSITION TO PROPOSE." CH went to his brother's side.

"And what is that, Crazy?" Master Hand was listening.

"LET'S GO TO MCDONALD'S."

"..."

"..."

"I WANT A HAPPY MEAL!" yelled Master Hand. Then the two rushed to the food court.

* * *

"Woah..." the boys cooed at the sights of the mall. There were colorful stores of many that intrigued all three of them.

"Where to first?!" Ness asked excitedly.

"Well personally, I think we should go to a manly shop that totally expresses our manly manliness- LET'S GO TO THAT HELLO KITTY SHOP OVER THERE!" TL jumped excitedly, taking Ness and Lucas' arms and dragging them into the shop before they could say anything.

* * *

"Aw MAAAN! We're so going to get it when Master Hand finds us!" said Marth.

"Calm _down, Marth! Geez, Ness, TL, and Lucas were the first ones to run away from the group, we can just blame it on them!" insisted Ike. Then he pointed to his own head. "Ike logic." He bit into a sandwich he brought along with him._

"Yeah! What Ike said!" agreed Link. "Now let's go somewhere!"

"I suggest we go to Subway first," Ike said.

"Don't you already have a sandwich?!" Link argued. "No! We aren't going there! We're going to the toy store first!"

"DO YOU _WANT _TO START A FIGHT?!" Ike got in brawl position, unsheathing his sword.

"Don't mind if I _do_!" Link unsheathed his sword as well.

"HAH! Prepare to lose! I mean, I _do_ carry a two-handed sword in one hand," Ike gloated.

"Goddamit- Just because you hold a two-handed sword in one hand doesn't mean anything! Besides, I got this cool Hylian Shield!"

"So what?!"

"Well, i-it looks cool!"

"My grandma looks better than that shield!" Ike insulted.

Link scoffed. "YEAH RIGHT! Your grand- wait. Are you saying your grandma was a shield?"

"Yup."

"...That's amazing."

"I know."

"YOU GUYS!" Marth got in between both of them. "Stop it! You might attract a mall cop!"

"PFTTTT... Mall cop? What're they gonna do? Hit us with a stick?" Ike teased.

"YES," a raspy voice came from behind them. When the three turned around, a fat mall cop on an automatic scooter was there. He approached Ike and then hit him with a thin stick.

"OW! THAT HURT!" said Ike, holding his hurt cheek.

"OH NO! THEY'VE FOUND US!" Link panicked.

"AND THEY HAVE STICKS!" Marth added.

"RUUUUUUNNNN!" Ike ran off in a direction. The other two followed.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The cop revved up his engine. He then chased them at his speed of 1 mile per hour. Yeah, he was _so_ fast, he sped past an old lady and she fell over.

* * *

"This is... AMAZING!" Peach shrilled. Zelda and Zero Suit Samus (ZSS) happily nodded. Right now, they were in a 'women's only' clothing store. They were running around everywhere, trying on every. single. thing.

"OH OH! LOOK! SHOES!" Peach took off her heels and tried on a pair.

"OH MY GOD! PURSES!" ZSS said next, going down the purse aisle.

Zelda gasps. "LOOK! THEY ALSO SELL CHOCOLATE AND ICE CREAM FOR DISTRESSED WOMEN!" She runs off over there and starts eating some ice cream. "Oh that feels so much better..." She starts crying. "WHY WON'T LINK NOTICE ME?!"

Peach and ZSS facepalmed. A few minutes later, the three gathered up at the dressing room. Zelda with her ice cream, and Peach with all her shoes she was trying on currently. They sat outside a room in which ZSS was dressing in.

"Samusssss! Are you done yet?!" Peach asked, getting impatient. She was about to open the curtain.

"WAIT! DON'T OPEN IT YET! I'M NOT FULLY CLOTHED!" Samus shouted.

"What do you mean you're not fully clothed? You came here to try on a _purse_," Peach pointed out.

"Peach, you'll never understand me," stated Samus. "Okay... DONE!" She flipped open the curtain. "How do I look?"

"It looks amazing on you!" Zelda and Peach compliment.

"Good! But... does this purse make me look fat?"

"No, it doesn't. Don't worry," Peach assured. "But It _does_ make you look like you've gotten a divorce with a man that was using you just for your money."

Samus looked confused.

"Oh! And it also makes you look desperate," Peach added.

With that, Samus took off the purse and let it drop to the floor. "Someone KILL THIS PURSE WITH A FLAMETHROWER!"

"Got it!" Zelda handed ZSS a flamethrower. "I was going to use it to burn my breaking heart, but it's already lit on fire-"

"Zelda," Peach started, "shut up."

"Okay." Zelda hung her head down and ate more ice cream.

Taking the flamethrower, ZSS burned the purse until it was turned into _ashes_. "There! That disgrace is gone from this earth and is now-"

"OH MY GOD!" Peach and Zelda exclaimed.

"What...?" Samus asked confusingly.

"F-F-FIRE!" Zelda screamed as she pointed a finger behind Samus. The woman turned around. There laid a fire that was growing _fast_.

"OH SHIT!" Samus ran away, along with Peach. Zelda ran too, but dropped her tub of ice cream on the floor on the way. When she noticed she did, she turned around.

"MY ICE CREEAAAAAMMMM!" Zelda shrieked. That caused Peach and ZSS to turn around.

"NO ZELDA! DON'T GO AFTER IT! LET IT GO!" ZSS yelled.

Zelda was on the floor, tearing up. She watched in the great ball of fire, her ice cream in its plastic tub, melting. She fell to her knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The fire approached Zelda fast, but the princess remained unmoving.

"OH MY GOD ZELDA! RUN DAMMIT!" Peach screamed. She ran over to Zelda, picked her up bridal style, and ran out of the store. Along with them, other customers and the people running the store ran out, coughing from the smoke.

"MY STORE! MY PRECIOUS STORE!" a beautiful lady looked at the flames in which her clothing store used to be. "If I find out whoever has committed arson to my store... I will... GUAH!" She punched a nearby man in the face.

"..." The three women looked at each other.

"I think we should go..." whispered Zelda.

"Um, yeah."

Then the three walked, no, _ran_, away to assure they will never ever be close to that store again.

* * *

"THAT WAS SOOOOOOO FUN!" TL said. He had Hello Kitty cat ears on his head.

"Yeah, fun for _you_." Ness shuddered. "That place was too pink!"

"I agree!" said Lucas. He was carrying a bunch of plushies. "I d-did not enjoy that at all," he lied. "And since we went to the Hello Kitty store for TL, can we go to that My Little Pony Shop over there for me?" Lucas grinned.

"NO," TL finalized.

"B-But you got to go to the Hello K-"

"I SAID 'NO', LUCAS."

"Please TL-"

TL sighed, then put both of his hands on Lucas' shoulders. "Listen, Lucas. You are like Canada. And I am like every other country that _isn't_ Canada. Now I'm going to say this to you. I don't care about you."

Lucas furrowed his eyebrows at TL. Then he pouted as he pushed TL away from him. "You're always so mean to me, TL! Why?"

"Because it's funny!"

Lucas groaned as he faced his back to TL and crossed his arms. "Well, sometimes it's not."

"Oh, c'mon Lucas. You know I'm just playi-"

"Don't talk to me. You're the one who always gets me into trouble! And despite that, you don't say sorry, and you _still_ insult me for being girly and crying more often than you do. Just shut up and go away."

TL's usual happy face faded away, and was replaced with one that looked a bit guilty. He turned to Ness and looked at him. The capped boy just shrugged.

"Somehow, I knew this would happen," Ness whispered to TL, laughing quietly at him. TL punched Ness' arm for that.

"W-Well..." TL didn't know what to say to Lucas next. "Let's just go..." He continues walking in a random direction. Ness, unsure of what to do, follows behind. As for Lucas, he waited until the two were a distance away from him, and then started following. He pouted as he followed. A silence crept upon them, that is, until a structure of complete and utter mystery came face-to-face with the three. Right there... was an escalator to the second floor.

But (unfortunately) they didn't know what it was.

"WOAAAAAHHHH..." Ness and TL's mouth dropped open, looking at the piece of machinery. Even Lucas couldn't help but snap out of his angry emotion to gawk over the escalator.

"W-WHAT'S THAT?!" Lucas shouted.

A man, that happened to be passing right by them, responded, "An escalator. Where're you guys from? The 1800's?" He laughed to himself, and continued on.

"ESCALATOR..." the three boys said in a chorus.

"I WANNA RIDE FIRST!" TL called.

"No! I'm riding first!" Ness pushed TL to the side playfully as he went for the moving stairs.

"HEY! NO FAIR!" TL got back up, smirking. He dashed after Ness, who's already on the escalator.

Ness was literally just chillin' on one of the moving steps. "WEE~ ACK-"

TL got on the same step as Ness and shoved him forward. Ness got back up and continued the little playfight with TL. This continued until the two were at the top, where they just laughed it off. They were just about to continue on, until they noticed something.

"Where's Lucas?" they asked simultaneously. Then they looked down the escalator to a Lucas that hasn't even gotten on yet. He looked frightened.

"C'mon Lucas! What's taking so long?" Ness called down to Lucas.

"THE MOVING STAIRS ARE GOING TO EAT ME!" Lucas panicked.

TL facepalmed. "HURRY UP YOU FREAKING SCAREDY CA-" He cut the insult off when he saw Lucas looking angrily at him. "O-Oh I mean... THE STAIRS ARE COMPLETELY SAFE! NOTHING WILL HAPPEN, OKAY?"

"WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU?" Lucas yelled up to him.

"BECAUSE I'M TOON LINK!" The little green boy grinned.

"THAT IS POSSIBLY THE WORST REASONING YOU HAVE EVER GIVEN YET!" snapped Lucas. "I NEED A RESPONSE FROM NESS, A PERSON THAT I CAN _TRUST_."

Ness smiled sheepishly, and replied. "ALRIGHT! DON'T WORRY LUCAS! YOU'LL BE OKAY AND THE ESCALATOR IS SAFE!"

Lucas gave an expression of approval, and carefully stepped onto the moving stairs. When he discovered that he was too scared to even lay his foot on it, he closed his eyes, and just sat himself on top of the next step going up. Sitting down, he was slowly brought up.

"Am I safe yet?" Lucas asked. His hands were covering his eyes.

"Yeah! You are!" Ness assured.

"YEP! Nothing bad will happen to you, Lucas!" TL added. Ness punched his arm.

"Don't say stuff like that! When you do, bad stuff usually _does_ happen!" the capped boy informed.

"PFT! As _if_! You swear like a piano will fall on my head, just like in the cartoo-" A piano falls on TL's head.

"OH NO!" Ness panicked. "THEY KILLED KENNY- I MEAN TOON LINK!"

"You bastards!" a little boy that happened to be passing by, added. Ness stared at the boy confusingly for a quite a bit, and then returned his gaze to TL.

"I'M SO SORRY!" a worker hanging from the ceiling apologized.

"IT'S OKAY!" yelled Lucas, who was looking up, laughing. He was nearly halfway up the slow escalators.

TL pushed the broken piano off of him. He looked completely beaten up, and he was missing a tooth. "Oh screw _you_, Lucas! Ya know what? I hope something bad _does_ happen to you!" TL cursed Lucas.

At that moment, the escalator stopped functioning, and the automatic ascending stairs stopped moving. Lucas sat there, completely stuck.

"_I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but the escalators on the western side of the mall have stopped moving. A power fuse has bursted. I advise everyone to now take the regular stairs, or elevator to continue on with their shopping. Thank you, and have a nice day." _

"..." Lucas took a moment to absorb that. "...AAAAHHHHHH! I'M STUCK! IM GONNA DIE! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M-"

"CALM DOWN LUCAS!" Ness shouted. He turned to TL, who looked down at Lucas. He slapped him across the face. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT! NOW HE'S GONNA DIE!"

TL recoiled in pain. "OW! OKAY OKAY I GET IT!" He looked back down at the blonde boy who was stuck on the escalator. "LUCAS! Try climbing up the escalator!"

"..! Okay!" Lucas agreed, standing on his two feet. He looked at the stairs, still not moving. "... I CAN'T! I'M STUCK!"

"Oh jesus..." Ness bit his nails. "HE'S STUCK THERE FOREVER!"

This time, it was TL's turn to slap Ness. "SHUT UP YOU RETARD! He's not stuck! It's a freaking escalator! They're just like _stairs_!"

Ness scoffed, rubbing his hurt cheek. "Oh TL, stop trying to be smart. You know it never works. First off, NO, they are not stairs. If they were stairs, they wouldn't have been called 'escalators', am I right? They would have been called, 'magical moving stairs of wonder'."

TL facepalmed. "I'm telling you... they are _just_ like stairs! Here, lemme show you." TL only took one step down, until Ness gripped onto his arm and pulled him back up.

"NO! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!" said Ness. "We need help! Professional help! We need... IKE!"

TL looked at Ness in the most unamused face ever. "Okay. I'm not sure which is stupider. The part where you said that walking down an escalator was dangerous, or the fact that you referred to Ike for professional help. I mean, GODDAMN WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DUMBASS WHEN I'M NOT?!"

Ness put a finger to TL's mouth. "Shush... my child. We must go. WE MUST FIND IKE! DON'T WORRY LUCAS! WE'LL SAVE YOU!" Then he dragged TL along with him as he ran off.

* * *

Ike, Marth, and Link stood gasping for air inside a shop. The three were in between an aisle, hiding.

"D-ID WE LO-SE H-HIM?" Link said in between breaths, leaning against a shelf full of toys. Currently, the three were inside a toy store.

"I think we did!" Marth gasped.

"Jesus, I haven't done a workout like that in awhile. Whew." Ike wiped the sweat off of his forehead.

They stood there, taking a moment to catch their breath. In the meantime, Link and Marth looked over at Ike. They studied him, and noticed something was out of the ordinary. When they finally noticed what was wrong, Marth put on the most fearful face ever.

_Ike dropped his sandwich he dropped he damn sandwich oh no we are all going to DIE, _thought Marth.

"Um... Ike?" Link started. "You dropped your sand-"

"DON'T TELL HIM!" Marth pounced on Link and held his mouth shut.

"Dropped my what? My sandwich-" After Ike said that, he looked at his empty hands, to find no sandwich there. His eyes widened, as he searched through his pockets. He even went as far as to empty them completely to make sure he didn't miss anything. Nothing. "MY SANDWIIIIICCCCHHHH! MY SANDWIICCCCHHHH! FDJS;KAFDNSBJFKL;SJFAS." Ike was spasming.

Marth looked over at Ike, scared. He then turned to Link slowly, with an evil expression printed on his face. "What have you... DONE?!"

Now, Ike started yodeling while dancing some kind of monkey dance around a stuffed teddy bear that laid on the floor.

"I-I DON'T KNOW!" Link shouted uneasily, staring at Ike. "Wow, we should totally videotape that and put it on YouTube-"

Marth slapped Link. "Running out of sandwiches to eat is one thing, but when Ike _loses_ his sandwich... he'll-"

"WHERE IS SHE?!" yelled Ike. "SHE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED! IS SHE IN THE SHELVES?!" He was now looking around like crazy. He threw all the toys that were neatly aligned on the shelves, to the ground. Finding nothing, he then went to the children's book aisle and flipped each out, one by one. "MAYBE IF I KEEP DOING THIS, A SECRET ENTRANCE WILL BE REVEALED!"

"AH-!" Marth got off of Link and went over to Ike. "STOP IT!" He tried shoving Ike away from the bookshelf, but failed.

"ENOUGH OF YOUR BOTHERS, PUNY HUMAN!" Ike literally picked up Marth with one hand, and threw him at the lady who was standing at the cash register.

"OWCHIE!" the lady screamed, falling to the ground.

"I'm so sorry!" apologized Marth. He got up as fast as he could and helped her up. She was a pretty young lady.

"Oh... it's okay." She laughed nervously, fixing her hair. However, once she saw Marth, she was surprised by his good looks. She blushed. "W-Who're you?"

"My name is Marth." He bowed respectively. He took a split second to look over at Ike. "So... what's the number?"

"The number?! My n-number? I-It's right here!" She rummaged through her pocket for a pencil and paper.

"No! Not _your_ number! The number to call 911!" Marth corrected.

"Oh..." The woman looked disappointed as she began writing down the number for him. She paused for a moment. "...Umm..."

"What is it?" asked Marth.

"I think I forgot the number to 911..."

"How could you forget?!" Marth panicked. "Isn't the number to 911, like, 747-7364 or something like that?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" the woman yelled.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF YOU!" Marth shouted at her.

"UM... MARTH?!" Link called, his eyes not tearing away from Ike.

"WHAT IS IT, LINK? I'M KINDA BUSY," Marth mentioned.

"YOU KNOW HOW IKE WAS SEARCHING FOR A SECRET ENTRANCE BY FLIPPING OVER THE CHILDRENS' BOOKS?"

"YEAH. WHAT ABOUT IT?"

"HE FOUND IT."

"WELL BUTTER MY BISCUIT."

"YEP. IT'S QUITE AMAZING..."

"YES!" Ike shouted in achievement. "MY SANDWICH _MUST_ BE HERE!" He looked in the secret entrance, to find a chest. "MY SANDWICH IS IN HERE!" He then flipped open the lid, as a tune... a familiar tune that's the same as when Link opens a chest, plays. "YES! I GOT... A purple rupee?"

At that moment, Link's head popped into the secret entrance. "Did you say 'rupee'?"

"UGH! THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST GAYEST THING EVER!" Ike threw it to the side.

"MONEEEEYYYY~!" Link sang as he caught the rupee mid-air. He had the most derpiest face ever has he rubbed the rupee against his face. "Money..."

"JESUS CHRIST WHERE IS MY SANDWICH?!" Ike stomped out of the store. Link and Marth followed after him.

"Ike! Settle down! We can buy you a new one!" Link told him.

Ike looked at Link as if he was an idiot. "Link, are you a retard?"

"Only when the timing is right."

Ike facepalmed. "WELL ANYWAYS, I can't just _buy_ a new sandwich. When I lose a sandwich, it's like losing a friend. So when I _do_ lose a sandwich, I cry."

"But you haven't cried yet."

"Oh..." Ike rubbed his chin in a thoughtful way. Then he started crying.

Marth slapped Link across the face. "You dumbass."

"WHAT DID I EVEN DO WRONG?!" Link cried.

"Being born," Marth said.

"HEY. If I was never born then no one would be able to play my very popular games in which you rage quit over because you are never able to find your way through a temple at one time because it's really hard because-" Link breathes in, "people overthink the puzzles because usually it's more obvious than they think."

Marth furrowed his brows. "Shut up, Link."

"Okay." Link hung his head down.

"..."

"..."

"By the way, where's Ike?" Marth asked.

The two swordsman looked at each other.

"SHIT."

* * *

"IKE MUST BE SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE!" Ness continued dragging TL around on the floor.

"GAH! STOP DRAGGING ME! THE FRICTION IS STARTING TO BURN MY TIGHTS!" TL complained. "OW MY SEXY BOOTY!" TL cried.

"No one cares about your sexy booty! Because mine clearly outshines yours," Ness points out.

"Do you _want_ to start a 'Booty Contest'?" TL threatens.

"Depends if we have time, but I'm definitely a shoo in for first place!" Ness bragged.

"MY BOOTY IS BETTER THAN YOURS AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"IT IS NOT!"

"YEAH IT I-"

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" a scream was heard. One that belonged to Ike.

Ness finally let go of TL and they both looked around.

"That was Ike!" Ness said. "I knew he was around!"

TL searched around with his vision. He gasps. "Dude, he's over there!"

Ness and TL ran over to Ike, who was looking down at an automatic scooter.

"What's wrong Ike?" Ness asked.

Ike stood there, staring seriously at the scooter. His eyes brows were furrowed, and his eyes were open, just staring... just staring.

"Hello~? Ike, aka, dumbass?" TL snapped fingers in front of the swordsman. He still didn't move. Ness and TL were confused, so their gaze flew to what Ike was staring at.

_Oh no..._ the two boys thought at the same time.

"WHO..." Ike began. "WHO PARKED THEIR AUTOMATIC SCOOTER ON MY _SANDWICH_?" He pointed to his flattened sandwich under one of the wheels.

By then, Marth and Link made it to Ike, Ness, and TL. They didn't say anything of their arrival, because the sight of the flattened sandwich took their breath away.

"S-She's dead... my beloved sandwich... she was a good sandwich..." Ike fought back the tears.

Personally, TL was more confused than surprised. "How'd you know the sandwich was a girl?"

Ike sniffled. "I checked."

"Oh."

Then dramatic music started playing in the background as the 5 dreaded over the death of Ike's sandwich. In fact, it was _so_ dramatic, that the dramatic music was played by a string orchestra because a string orchestra plays the most dramatic music. It was _that_ dramatic.

_This is very dramatic..._ everyone thought, excluding Ike.

"Ike, it's okay. You can find a new sandwich." Marth put a hand on Ike's shoulder.

"I _can't_!" Ike cried. "That was the best sandwich ever! I've spent most of my time with her. She's lasted the longest, and shared the most memories with me."

"How long?" asked Link.

"About 7.463279042379 minutes. I counted," said Ike. "It was a wonderful 7.463279042379 minutes."

"Um... you guys." Ness broke the drama. "I don't mean to say that the death of Ike's sandwich isn't a big deal... but Lucas is dying, and... I have a feeling that's somewhat important."

"LUCAS IS DYING?!" Marth and Link shouted.

"Who's Lucas?" asked Ike. Ness was going to slap Ike across the face, but Marth beat him to it. Ike mumbled to himself as he rubbed his hurt spot.

"You know! That blonde boy!" TL said.

"That blonde boy... was he in a movie?" Ike asked.

"NO! Lucas! That kid that cries a lot!"

"Not ringing a bell."

TL groaned. "That kid that you pushed over last weekend!"

"OOOOHHH! THAT LUCAS!" Ike grinned in remembering. "AND I DIDN'T PUSH HIM! I flicked him across the forehead for being questionably gay!"

"Well apparently he had to go to Dr. Mario's right after!" TL flailed his arms.

"ALRIGHT ENOUGH! LUCAS IS DYING AND WE HAVE TO GO! _NOW_!" With that, Ness ran, and everyone else followed.

Passing by stores of many, and a congested amount of people who stared weirdly at the running group, they made it to the desired escalator. They looked down, to see Lucas who was sitting down in the middle of it, talking to people who were staring up at him from the first floor.

"Ummmm... what are you doing there, little boy?" a woman asked, holding her baby.

"I'm waiting for my friends to come save me," Lucas told her. "I'm stuck."

"But can't you just climb down? It _is_ an escalator," a man pointed out.

"I can't, I'm stuck." Lucas had a serious expression on.

"But it's an escalator."

"Well, I'm stuck."

"...It's an escalator."

"I said I'm stuck!"

"...It's an es-"

Lucas sent his PK Thunder down to the man, zapping him. "I SAID I'M STUCK AND WHEN I SAY I'M STUCK, I'M STUCK! YOU GOT THAT?!" he yelled. Because of that, it scared the forming crowd away.

"Lucas!" Ness called. "Ike is here! He's going to save you from the escalator!" He turned to Ike. "LUCAS IS STUCK ON THE ESCALATOR!"

"I CAN SEE THAT!" Ike yelled at Ness. "Now stop yelling! I'm trying to think about a way save Lucas! Escalators are NO laughing matter! They're dangerous!"

Marth and Link nodded at that. TL facepalmed.

After a minute or two, Ike finally had it. "I KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

"WHAT IS IT?!" Ness asked.

"Well, first of all we _must_ start from step 1, and that is to realize Lucas is not _actually_ stuck on the escalator," Ike said professionally.

"SEE?! SEE?! I TOLD YOU!" TL shouted.

Ike continued. "Yes, Lucas is not stuck on the escalator. The right interpretation would be that the escalator is stuck on the Lucas."

…

"Dudes," Link began. "Ike is a freaking genius."

Then without further ado, Ike received claps from everyone but TL.

"YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING RETARDED! Escalators are _stairs_! Lucas can easily climb up by himself like anybody else! GOD... YOU PEOPLE ARE BEING SO OBTUSE ABOUT THIS WHOLE SITUATION!"

"YOU'RE WRONG!" argued Ness. "We are not wider than 90 degrees!"

"Not _that_ definition of 'obtuse', Ness!" TL breathed in frustratedly. "You know what? I'm not letting anyone stop me this time! I'm going down to get Lucas!" So, the green suited boy, while no one was in his way, quickly ran down 4-5 steps before anyone could stop him.

"NOOOOOOO! TOON LINK!" Marth, Ike, Ness, and Link said. They held out their hands to him.

"YOU'RE GONNA GET STUCK TOO AND DIE LIKE LUCAS!" Marth cried.

TL happily ignored what they said and continued down.

"OH MY GOD!" Ness' eyes were wide. "TL COME BACK! PLEASE! IF YOU DON'T MAKE IT BACK, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU NO HOMO!"

TL just _had_ to turn around to reply to that one. "Dude, Ness... shut up." Afterwards, he continued down even more.

"Oh gosh... I feel like vomiting... I can't take it." Link held his stomach. "I can see it..."

"See what?" asked Ike.

"The _light..._" Link rasped.

Ness sweatdropped. "Whoops, sorry Link." He put away his flashlight that he was pointing at Link's eyes.

"I GOT HIM!" yelled TL, carrying Lucas in his arms bridal-style. Lucas held tightly to TL, telling him over and over again to not drop him or he'll hate him even more than he does now. Step by step, TL inched up the escalator, and brought Lucas to the rest of the group, who looked bewildered. They didn't expect TL to make it back alive.

"I'm alive!" Lucas said happily. "THANK YOU TL!" Lucas wrapped his arms around the green elf. The little toon blushed a little, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh you know, it wasn't _that_ big of a deal." TL smiled.

"Yes it was Toon Link!" Lucas hugged him even tighter. "I wouldn't have made it without you! Thank you so much for saving me!"

"Heheheh... no problem Lucas." TL paused, then went on. "And you know what I said earlier, about me not caring about you?"

Lucas heard that, then backed away from TL and looked at him, showing him that he's listening.

TL continued. "Sorry for saying that. I _do_ care about you. A lot of people do. I was just kidding when I said that. And I'm also sorry for getting you in trouble and calling you a crybaby. I never mean it most of the time and..." The elf looked down, fiddling with his fingers. He wasn't used to speaking so bluntly. "You're a cool best friend and I hope you stay that way. When I make fun of you, I never mean to hurt you. I'm sorry..."

"...Really?" Lucas smiled.

"Yeah, you and Ness are the coolest friends I've ever had." TL smiled back. Then the two embraced each other in a hug.

While they were going on, small sniffles came from Ness.

"Ness, are you crying?" Marth whispered. Ike and Link were watching him.

"NO!" Ness contradicted. "I'm not crying! I'm shedding manly t-tears!" A tear went down his cheek. "It's just so _touching_! LEMME IN ON THIS!" Ness wiped the tears off his cheek and joined in on the hug in which TL and Lucas happily offered back.

"Awwww!" The three swordsmen cocked their head.

"I wanna hug too!" said Ike, hugging the boys. But before he could, TL hissed at him.

"STAY OUT OF OUR FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE! GO HUG MARTH AND LINK!" TL yelled, then went back to the hug.

"WELL FINE THEN! THEY'RE BETTER THAN YOU ANYWAYS!" Ike turned to Link and Marth. He casually opened his arms. "Hug?"

Marth and Link looked at Ike, then at each other. They both rolled their eyes.

"Fine! _Whatever_..." Link went into his arms. So did Marth.

Afterwards, when everyone was done hugging, they went back to mall shopping together, happily enjoying the rest of their time.

* * *

Everyone had a blast at the mall! And now, they were all back at Smash Mansion, inside the theatre talking about what they did.

CH and MH, who are on the stage, questioned the brawlers.

"So did you guys have fun?" MH asked.

"HELL YEAH!" literally everyone shouted.

"I went to the shoe store!" Sonic yelled.

"I went to the food court!" Wario added.

"I went to the beauty salon!" Snake said. Everyone turned to him, including the hands. "...What?"

"Nothing, nothing." MH turned away. "Anyone else want to share? Everything seems good so far! We just might go visit again!"

"We set the 'women's only' clothing store on fire!" Peach yelled. ZSS and Zelda cheered.

MH looked confused. "Wha-"

"Ike and Link almost got in a fight and then we were all chased by a fast mall cop with a stick! Then we ended up trashing a toy store because Ike lost his sandwich, only to find that an automatic scooter was parked upon it!" Marth said next.

"Um... that was-"

Ness interrupted MH. "And Lucas got stuck on an escalator for about an hour and TL saved him!"

"OKAY! ENOUGH- _wait_..." MH looked at Lucas. "You got stuck on an escalator?"

Lucas nodded. "Yep!"

"Do you mean _elevator_?"

"Nope, escalator!"

"..." MH cleared his throat. "WELL... I'm glad all of you had a great day at the mall! Unfortunately, I don't think we will visit again because of _some_ people... THAT'S RIGHT SNAKE! I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU!"

Everyone groaned.

"What did I do?!" Snake asked.

"You went to a _beauty_ _salon_! You're basically insulting men! Only women go there! Ugh, Snake, you should be _ashamed_." MH shook a finger at him. "Everyone, you're dismissed."

With that, everyone left the theatre, most a bit upset that they can't go back to the mall again. Chatters and small talk went on about Snake as the man felt guilty about everything.

"This sucks! We can't go back to the mall again!" Ness complained. "Stupid Snake..."

Lucas nodded, a bit angry too.

"Yeah, this _does_ suck." TL dragged his feet while following behind the two. "Um... you guys, something has been on my mind."

Ness and Lucas stopped and looked at TL.

"What is it?" asked Ness.

"Well..." TL looked down at his hands. "You guys won't ever leave me for being troublesome and somewhat mean, will you guys?"

Ness and Lucas looked at each other, then at him. They both bursted into laughter. "RETARD!"

That made TL feel worse. That is, until the boys continued.

"Oh TL!" Lucas was holding his sides. "Of _course_ we'll always be your friends!"

"Yeah, because friends always stick together no matter how much one of them happens to screw up. That's true friendship." Ness smiled at TL.

TL looked at them, bright-eyed. "Really?"

"Yes! We'll be friends, no matter what happens, okay?" Lucas assured.

"...T-Thank you so much you guys!" TL held back tears of joy. Then the three headed back to their rooms, getting ready to end the day.

Laying in bed with his pajamas on, TL stared at the ceiling as Ness and Lucas were accustoming themselves to their bed. He stared blankly, thinking hard.

A smile crossed his lips.

_I really do have the greatest friends, don't I?_

* * *

**The end~!  
**

**YAAAAY! Had an awesome time writing this! And I hope you guys liked!**

**Stay awesome! **


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